On Running Away

On Running Away

1.

you hand me
my history of departures

I test its hardness with my teeth
I am nothing if not authentic

but because I want it all and you
want nothing of it
I turn my body

leave no trace of memory yet
a scent of was
lingers and you
regret everything

I am gone
when you turn to ask
something

you enter a room
and forget why

I am thought of and then I am
the burr on the tip
of your tongue

the aggravating word
that doesn’t quite fit and you
hate me
for what you can’t remember

2.

you gave me
the impossibility of forgetting

the blackhole unzipped fly
the smell of salt on my teeth tell me

does the taste of remembering
rush into your head?

so I skipped home
slept by rooftop exits
shining moments

in between siren-dashing
a few quarters just to let
ma hear my voice
but the bench was warm

not unforgiving and my heart
forgot how to skip beats
I heard she searched for a dead daughter

3.

I’ve studied the
migratory patterns of me
the erratic movements of fear
the desperate zigzagging
flees cross country

my tongue is crippled
in these translations
lips are caked dry
I hum because I can’t speak

there is a painstaking
restoration of meaning to do
of a brilliant metaphor so unlike
the one I live

now outside the big library
life dances
tangles my feet
trips me down

to the suddenness of blooms
the pigeon puffed and dancing
round to show tail feathers

in the shadows of a spiny tree
there are crumbs and me
all silent in the shadows
watching the game
and planning the trip home